I Still Remember…

It’s been 21 years today but I still remember.

I still remember that day like it had happened this morning. I still remember holding my son’s little hand as they placed the needle in his swollen lymph node – not once but twice. I still remember going back out to the lobby to wait for the doctor to come out with preliminary results. I still remember the nurse taking us into a small conference room and told us the doctor would be right with us. And I will always remember the words that were spoken that punched me in the gut and flipped my world upside down. It’s the words that would make it hard to breathe and my head spiral in many directions. It was the words “The cells are cancerous.”

I remember every hospital stay and every doctor appointment. I remember the 54 months of treatment and all the side effects that came with it. And I remember the words that came 2 1/2 years later, “He is cancer free!” (Which by the way was in 2002 and he is now a husband, daddy and pastor!)

I also remember during that time period, I learned the very breath that had been sucked out of me, was replaced with the breath of my Lord and Savior. I remember having a sense of peace when wave after wave was crashing over us. I remember knowing without a shadow of a doubt my boy was going to be okay. I remember being given a note written by my older son with a prayer request where he was praying for his little brother. I remember the love we were shown from family, friends, our church and community. I remember my 7th grade students sending hand made cards to the hospital. I remember baskets of food showing up on our door step when we needed it the most. I remember a light bill being paid without ever telling anyone I was worried about it. And I remember so many other countless acts of kindness that was shown to us as we were served with the hands and feet of Jesus.

Yes the events of that day are engraved in my mind and probably will be as long as I am living. But the transformation that occurred in my heart during our journey will be there for all eternity. It was during this time that I learned how true God’s Word is and how much He loves His children. I will always remember God’s faithfulness, His provisions and His loving kindness.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I have what I need. He lets me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; he leads me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff — they comfort me.” Psalms 23:1-4

If you want to read the entire journey, it can be found here. —- http://jordansjourney1999.blogspot.com/ (This was written in close to real-time as events were transpiring.)

8 thoughts on “I Still Remember…

  1. Tonya- I so much needed to read this today. You are giving me the courage I need right now. I believe God is in control and my spiritual heart believes and knows He is with me right now; but the human in me still tries to make me worry. Thanks so much for your prayers. Love you. Lynn

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  2. Oh Tonya, my heart is full as I read this. How could our God be so good to send your sweet boy to my little girl to marry and share a life with! As we’ve talked about many times before, when Andrea was in Kindergarten and I started praying for the boy she would one day marry– and his family– I had no idea I was praying for you and your sweet Jordan!
    I remember telling Andrea when she was in high school, I was praying for her a “good, Christian, church boy”! She would roll her eyes and say “Mom, there are none in Putnam County.” But, oh, how God proved her wrong! The night before their wedding, she told me “God sure has a sense of humor– not only did He send me a ‘good, Christian, church boy’, he sent me a PASTOR!”
    And oh how thankful I am for that!
    I love you, sweet “Grandsister”! ❤️

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    1. God is so very good to us!!! And I am so thankful for the blessings and favor He extravagantly pits on our sweet babies!!!!! I love you too Grandsister! 😊❤️

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